Breakfast With Amy

12 years ago my daughter Amy graduated from afternoon Kindergarten and started first grade which meant going to school all-day.  That was when we started going out to breakfast together once a week. 

When we first started we would always go to Einstein Bagels and she would insist on sitting on the high chairs with the high tables.  She was so cute!  She has always been cute! For a couple years we frequented Caribou Coffee and we would try to get a seat near the fire place in the winter or on the comfy couch the rest of the year.  The last  two years it has been nothing but Starbucks...partly because we both love it and partly because she works there and gets us a partner discount!

I don't remember a single early morning trip where the conversation was so important that it permanently changed either of our lives. But  I do remember lots of talk about school, friends, the future, God, family, favorite music, lacrosse, coffee-snobbery, doubts, church, colleges, dating, the poor, how to make a difference, her "junior high girls", Mexico and Rwanda trips, jobs, money,  family, owning your "stuff", saving for college, grades, graduating early and more.  On second thought, maybe the culmination of all those conversations did change our lives.  And maybe that is how love, community and a father-daughter relationship grow - one conversation at a time.  I am so grateful for those early morning conversations and each of those breakfast trips with Amy.  It's one of those things I know I will never regret.

This week we left our house a little early and made our last breakfast trip of the school year.  As we got into the car Amy turned on her favorite country music station (she didn't get that from me!).  When she turned it up it was Trace Adkins singing "You're Gonna Miss This". It's a song about watching your little girl grow up and the chorus goes:  "You're gonna miss this; You're gonna want this back; You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast.  These are some good times; So take a good look around; You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."  I could feel my throat drying up and my eyes swelling.  Yeah, it's a pretty sappy country song, but I was feeling pretty sappy.  The picture at the top of this post is our last breakfast trip -  I am gonna miss this.

Comments

[Mark]

Maybe without even knowing it ... you have been "making room for life" all along. Well done. God bless you!

[scott hodge]

Oh wow man. What a post...

[Shawn Wood]

Dave - I read about your morning breakfasts before my little girl was born and vowed to make that a part of our life.

We have daddy/daughter day on Fridays and even though she is only 2 1/2 - I know its already impacting her and me!

My eyes started to sweat a little just reading this post!

Thanks for being a leader in so may ways - most importantly to us as young dads!

Hope to see you soon!

Shawn

[jason salamun]

Touching. Thanks for sharing this Dave.

I'm where you were 12 years ago. My daughter is graduating kindergarten in a couple of weeks. I think you've just inspired us to do the same.

[Brad]

My son is graduating kindergarten in a few weeks - you're actions have inspired me to do something the same with him.

[Pearl Gannon]

This made me kind of cry with happiness. I wish I had this sort of connection with my father, but unfortunately this never happened. Reading this makes me realize that there are some good relationships in the world.

[Brett]

Thats amazing. Im gonna go hug my girls right now.

[Ted]

While I don't have a daughter yet...I do have a 8 month old son...

I too look forward to those moments when George (my son) and I get the opportunity to create our own weekly Father-son trips, like you did with your daughter.

How invaluable!

What a beautiful thing... I could feel a lump in my throat while I read the post to my wife.

Thanks for sharing.

[Jeff Reed]

We're expecting our first child (a daughter) in September. Thanks for giving me something to strive for...

[Joe Wickman]

Hi Dave,
My daughter turns 9 tomorrow. Last week my second-oldest turned 7. Each of them get a special breakfast out with Daddy on their birthday.
I just now decided that I need to start dating them weekly, for as long as they'll let me.
Thank you.

[Anne]

You are so lucky and smart to have done this all these years. Those Fridays will live on in both your hearts forever. It is so bittersweet to watch them grow up and leave. It is the plan, of course, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Our 17 y/o daughter has had a horrific year due to some depression that came on in the fall. I have born the brunt of her frustation and anger -- but when I opened up my Mother's Day card and read it, I knew all was not lost. She wrote me me about what we called 'the girl's together'. Those times were like your dad and Amy Friday's. I now know they meant as much to her as they did to me.

[Desiree Guzman]

Thanks for sharing this Dave. It's great that you kept up the tradition. I bet it's meant a lot to Amy. Reading this made me miss my Dad. This is the kind of thing those "feeling" people really eat up in a blog post. : )

[Ed Bahler]

Special story Dave.

It takes me back to that effort a few years back to schedule you into the Nov. 2006 Chicago conference of ours. Your assistant said Thursday mornings were out to allow you to be home to help with home schooling. That told me so much about who you were. It's so affirming to see the blessings.

There was a song that touched my heart back when my four girls (and two sons) were young by Steve and Annie Chapman titled "Her Daddy's Love". The first few lines went like this:

Daddy your the man in your little girls dreams
You are the one that she longs to please
There's a place in her heart that can only be filled by her daddy's love
And someday if you find that her purities gone
She may have lost it trying to find
What was missing at home.......

Twenty years ago those thoughts helped reorient my priorities and still choke me up today.

God's been so good blessing us with healthy, grounded girls (18-28 yrs old)and three wonderful son-in-laws. We still all vacation together. Along the way time together and intentional affection matter.

[Jean Chase]

Have I told you lately that I think you are AWESOME??? love you, francie (writing on dad's account!)

[Noime]

Wow, what an amazing post. It really makes me cry. I'm so happy to know that there are fathers out there that are unreserved to show their love even through simple things for their love ones.

[Jekblad]

I have a girl, and she's cried all morning. I called my wife and she helped me settle her down. Then I read all these comments and I started crying. Thank you everyone.

[Daniel Conner]

Dave, I'm a first time reader of your blog, and I was so encouraged and challenged. My wife and I are expecting our first child in 8 weeks, a little girl. I can't express how excited I am! Thank you for sharing your fathers heart with everyone, and for being an example to new fathers like myself.

[Tara (Destiny Driven)]

What a beautiful tradition... btw, I love the song!

[Blake]

Nice. Very nice I have a 6yo and a 3yo daughter (plus a 2 month old little boy). I aim to make sure they know their daddy loves them.