93 Year Old Blogger - "It Bothers Me I Have To Go."

Since I was in my teens I've always had a fear of being old.  I've never been afraid of death as much as getting old.  I'm not sure I can exactly explain why but I think it has to do with loving life and in some way feeling like my chance is over when I die.  I know this may or may not make sense theologically, but that is how I feel. 

Donald Crowdis, the 93-year-old blogger of Don to Earth reminded me of some of those feelings in his post It Bothers Me I Have To Go. Here is part of what he says in that post:  “I've floated on the remark "Been there, done that" for some time now, but the notion that the moment is approaching when I can no longer say this bothers me. The truth is, I don't want to go. There are many reasons. For too long I have behaved as if I could postpone going indefinitely, and thus have so many things that I must do first. I don't want my successors to find out how much I could have done that isn't done, not by a long shot. There are numerous notes and letters I must write. There are places I've wanted to travel, but never had the chance. Actually, each of you can, if you think yourself into my age, fill out the list. At least you can try to understand why I say that I hate to go.”

Comments

[Kristine D. Knight-Holzwarth]

Given my journey, I think I can/will shine some light on the phrase "I hate to go", so here goes. God gives us each day to make it our best, to make mistakes and learn from them, to acknowlege our fears and face them, to achieve goals and be proud of them, and to love one another allowing our hearts to be strong and fulfilled. When the time comes for me to go, I will not be sad or have any regrets, for everything that has been given, that has been taken, that I/we have learned and shared while in mortal form is training for the gloris job God has for all of us in heaven. To live, love and grow each day, to show my children how to carry on with my love in their hearts and to know that the love that God has for all his children is immeasurable. The most important legacy I wish to leave is the glory of God, his love, his life, and in the process if I am graced to have shown my children the love you will receive when you give back to this world by serving God is so pleasurable not only for themselves, for those they give to, for those who get to view/participate in such giving, as well as for our Father God. I am not perfect, I will sin, we all will sin in mistake form everyday, however, I will ask for guidance, discernment and forgiveness and I will extend the same to those around me and this I believe is the ture lesson of life and the meaning of Gods will.

[Anne]

Thanks for pointing me at that website. It is really quite wonderful. It reminds us that we cannot assume that because a person is old they are some how less important or care less about things than when they were young. We cannot ignire their humanity any more than we can ignore others different from ourselves -- the disable, street people, you name it.

[Janus]

I can relate with your fear. I work around the elderly for my work, and most of them are in the late 80's through the mid-90's. I am more frightened of losing my ability to do what I want when I want and to remember and keep up with things.

I love working with those folks, but it reminds me all the time that someday I might need someone to do the same for me.

That is what scares me.

[Kristine D. Knight-Holzwarth]

Not being able to remember, keep up, do for yourself, sounds real to me! I can understand working with such "friends" can be a reminder of what is instore for us all in our 80's and 90's. However, it does not always happen that way. Like you, God has called me to serve people in need. I serve chronicalley ill patients and I LOVE IT!! These patients have a Neurological Dysfunction and the youngest is 16. My job is to help them with medical issues, hold a hand or two, and at times, share my journey, "life after brain surgery". Now the doctors say it could be my turn [again] and I am only 42 years young. What I continute to learn is, I can not hide from my fears, show God's love by serving, ask for and give forgivness and celebrate every chance I get. What gets me through my darkest moments? God's love. And guess what? He has more then enough love to go around! ;-)